WHITE HOUSE CONSIDERS ADDING MOOSE MEAT TO MENU

We knew John McCain was a gambler although his staffers haven't let him near a casino since he became the Republican nominee - presumptive. (And he has the nerve to call Obama presumptuous - actually, we think a septegerian who has had serious skin cancer four times and still makes Moose Lady his veep choice, has moved beyond presumptuous).

Maybe, just maybe, his staff was wrong and if they had allowed him to roll the dice at the craps table the White House chefs wouldn't be researching ways to serve moose meat. (We suggest - rarely!)

Does it get any more off the wall? A gun- toting mother of 5 and lifetime member of the NRA. Governor of a state with less than a million people (27 percent of them under the age of 18) for less than 2 years??? With a house husband who is a world champion snowmobiler (not likely to get to do much of that in DC ).

There just isn't enough popcorn in the world to get us through this - we may need something considerably stronger (wonder what Hillary is drinking). At least we now know something. Obama is not ready to lead. Can he possibly protect America from an invasion of moose or coyote? We think not.

END THE VEEP TORTURE NOW!!!

Come on. Stop toying with us (and give the Know Nothing More Than the Audience talking heads something else to splutter about).

Word is Obama may let us in on his Little Secret thursday (or Friday, or Saturday) and Johnny One Note, the day after The One gives his acceptance speach (unless Hillary pulls of her little coup) at the DNC.

We are as devoid of information as the next airhead. Will Obama go for Biden (he has already prepared a 3,000,000 word acceptance speach in anticipation which explains what he really meant when he referred to Obama as a 'clean' African American). The pundits seem to think he has an inside track right now. Or, what about Bayh (we think not but just in case we have stocked up on wake-up pills). Sebelius (isn't that a composer? if people claim not to know much about Obama then we suspect they know less about the composer. Richardson? He has grown a beard and put on weight just like Al G and so we think he is paving the way of winning himself an Academy Award or a Nobel - not the veepship. Kaine? A little light on the cv we think. Jack Reed? Sebalius times two and anyway, Rhode Island only has three people living in it.

Personally, we would like to see a surprise - something to help us get over the two days of Clinton overdose. How about the Mayor of New York? or (hold your breath), Al Gore. Now THAT would eclipse the Clinton sun (not that we think he would take it). Of course, for a real surprise he could still pick Hillary (bigger surprise than Al). Please, just tell us before we have to go restock the popcorn.

And, as for Dubbya Redux, we know we have to wait a while for that. A pro-choicer like Ridge? only if you want all the evangelicals to stay home. An outfield choice like Lieberman? (it won't be just he evangelicals that will stay home). Conventional wisdom seems to give the nod to Mitt Romney (maybe floating Ridge and Lieberman is just to get the evangelicals to be greatful for Romney?). Of course, there is always the Dubbya Redux penchant for shaking out the deck but sticking Meg Whitman on the ticket. Whatever, we are clearly not going to get any insights from the pundits so will just hunker down and see who will be leading the invasion of Russia with Dubba Redux.

Pass the popcorn please.

VINDICATED - AGAIN!!

Ha!

While much of the world awoke today to hear news that John Edwards had admitted to an affair (although not to the love child), it was old news to TT.

Forget the Washington Post, New York Times, New Yorker - it is the National Enquirer that once again gives us what we need to know. It was the Enquirer that sank Gary Hart's presidential bid. It was the National Enquirer that produced the pic of OJ Simpson wearing those 'ugly-ass shoes' and helped nail him (in the civil suit).

If, like TT, you read the Bible regularly then you would have known last fall that Edwards had an affair and had fathered a love child. Indeed, we have been perplexed that non of the mainstream media referenced it - he WAS a candidate for President and one that put his family (and morality) up front in his campaign. Not a peep - at least not till the expensively coiffed ex-candidate went on tv and gave a (partial) sort-of confession.

Something tells us Mr Edwards, who spun it as old news that his family knew all about, was less than candid and their is more to this baby that he has admitted to. Something also tells us that the Enquirer has more bullets in this gun. All we know is that there is NOTHING that would get us to give up the Enquirer in the coming weeks (or months). Me thinks John E has underestimated the Enquirer and to his peril. Poor Elizabeth.

THE SHADOW THAT JUST WON'T QUIT

We KNEW she was incapable of 'moving on' without stirring up a witches cauldron of trouble.

First there were those HillRaisers (we are sure without prompting from Billary) who said they were ready to vote Republican before they would vote for Obama (so much for Country First). Or those HillRaisers who couldn't quite stomach voting Republican who said they would stay home and not vote at all. Sure, Iraquis can risk getting blown up to vote but HillRaisers are so self-absorbed they are ready to stay home. So much for the sacrifice of those who have fought and died for 'freedom's march'.

Now we have a snarling, snapping Bill, unable to choke out the words that he thinks Obama is capable of leading the country (how petulant can Bill get?? will they have to pry the limelight from his cold, dead hands?). Now we have Billary talking about how her supporters need catharsis (who needs catharsis, Hillary???) and how they need a strategy for the convention (ah, yes, the reasons why she hung in long after she had lost become clear - as usual with the Clintons, its all about Them). Not that she would suggest a roll call (that's Roll with a capital R) but as we know from You Tube, all Billary can do is point out that delegates are free to do what they want).

These two just drain the oxygen from any room. Dare we say it though, Billary's machinations have a distinctly distaff sense about them. We can only hope a bit of sunshine breaks through that long dark Clintonian shadow!!!

OH CANADA!!!!

One doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

Today, the Canadian government announced that it is sending a warship to Somalia to protect UN aid ships from pirates. 'A' warship?? Surely the mean, 'The' warship?

TT shudders to think what might happen if the US 7th fleet decides to invade Canada (if they can go after oil in Iraq they can sure go into Canada which is closer and with a considerably more docile population).

BRANGELINA SPAWNS MULTI MILLION $$ BABIES

So. Brangelina will get $14 million (or $16 million depending on your source material) for the first pics of their Brangelette twins.

TT has advised 'Hello' magazine, who obviously have deeeeeeeeeeeep pockets, that TT is prepared to undergo IVF, produce quadruplets and allow them to be photographed for half that amount!!!

PHOTO OF 'THE ONE' AIRBRUSHED OUT BY MCCAIN CAMPAIGN

In /what are surely mysterious circumstances, the pic of The One which should accompany the Hilton/Spears/The One item...just disappeared. TT is never one to cast the first stone so we are certainly not going to be the ones to suggest that the McCain campaign airbrushed it out.....