PARIS? BRITTNEY? WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK IT??

Good grief!!

OK. Sure there have been some OTT moments (whose cute idea was the faux Presidential seal???) but never in a million years would we ever imagined the GOP attack on The One to pivot on comparing Obama with Ms. Spears and Paris One Night With.

Mr Grouchy (who wouldnt be when a super-market photo op is ruined by a clerk toppling canned goods off the shelf?) just leaves us ever more astonished.

But much more astonishing are the polls. Sure, everyone says the polls are unreliable etc etc etc. but averaging them out puts Obama ahead of Mr Grouchy by about 3 statistically insignificant points. And what, you might ask, is so astonishing about that? Well, it means that more almost 45 percent of the American electorate say (for now) they are going to vote for Mr Grouchy.

How much more damage are people ready to let the Republicans inflict??? (Think bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran). When Mr Grouchy gets his Shia and Sunnis confused and focuses on that non-existant border between Iraq and Pakistan, who knows what will get invaded.

Well, only 14 weeks left but if Mr Grouchy pulls this off we will turn in our Citizenship papers - or at least we would if we had any.

MCCAIN MAKES HIS OWN HSTORY

With Barak swanning around the globe grabbing news coverage, John McCain decided to make a little history himself.

Today, McCain's campaign spokesman announced that he candidate would be launching his first ever (therefore historic) trip to the Internet.

McCain's trip will last as long as Obama's, with the newly wired candidate expected to visit e-Bay, YouTube and maybe Weather.com.

McCain's campaign hopes the historic voyage will dispell any thoughts that the candidate is 'out of touch' and they promise that McCain may even be photographed listening to a Walkman!!

FLIP FLOPS ARE NON-PARTISAN

Flip-flops, in the political arena, were made famous by John Kerry's infamous, 'i voted for it before I voted against it' (or was it the other way round?).

Flip- Flopping came to be the slur against democrats when frankly, we could have done with a little more flip-flopping from Dubbya in exchange for his 'stay the course'. intransigence.

Now it seems the world is changing. Dubbya appears to have done a flip-flop on Iran (no its not a change in policy, there will be no negotiations - the US representative will just be keeping a seat warm). And, as for withdrawing troops from Iraq - no there will not be a timeline or timetable ---but rather, a' general time horizon'. Ah yes, those horizons are not to be confused with timetables.

Israel, who also doesn't negotiate with terrorists, just didn't negotiate with Hezbollah for the remains of an Israeli soldier in exchange for few hundred Palestinian prisoners. It's not negotiations, just a liberal dose of pragmatism.

CALIFORNIA BURNING ----AGAIN----STILL????

What is it with California???

How come every time we turn on the news, it's on fire??

Is this one big non-stop fire?? Or, is it just a trick by self-absorbed Californians to divert our attention from MidWestern floods??

Do the news networks have to shoot new fire footage every time??

More to the point, how is it there are any trees left to burn in California?? Enquiring minds want to know......

MATTHEW McC SPAWNS BABY ABS

Buried as it was amidst the cesspool that is Brinkley vs Cook and the quadrangle (actually, we think it may be five sided) of C-Rod vs. A-Rod vs. Madonna, vs. Guy vs. Lenny, we almost missed the happy news.

Matthew McC and his girlfriend (NOT the one he was photographed partying with in the National Enquirer last week) are the proud parents of a baby boy.

Lance Armstrong is reported to be in a deep funk at the apparent domesticationo(unlikely say we) of his Party Pal. Children never stood in the way of Lance's partying.

The baby, who was born naked and playing bongo drums, will apparently be called Levi (presumably in homage to the jeans that Mr Super Abs habitually sports (sans shirt).

It is heartwarming to see the Theory of Evolution in practice.

PRETTY PEOPLE HAVE UGLY DIVORCES!!

Finally, TT has a scandal to divert us from the never-ending Presidential campaign.

Thank you Christie Brinkley!! Most celebs try and keep all these salacious little details out of the proceedings but not our Christie.

Christie has opened Pandora's box for us: 'performances' for strangers in front of webcams, affairs with teenage girls, a porn habit costing $3000 a month (wait a minute, how is it possible to spend $3000 a month on porn? ).

Chrisite and Peter would have us believe that it's not about the money! Ha! Custody of the children? Try Child Support ($$$$$). Of course it's about money. Look at the moolah Kevin Federline started pulling in after he got custody of his and Brittney's spawn.

As for those young Brinkley-Cook children, Christie is being accused of being a revenge-driven shrew who is subjecting her young children to the unseemly details of their father's sleezey behaviour - hardly the act of a caring mother. Nonsense. The is the Brinkley School of 'they have to grow up some time '!!!!

It would seem that the prettier the people, the uglier the divorce (we still want to know how someone can spend $3000 a month on porn???).