AN AUGMENTATION TOO FAR?????

My goodness!!

While the number of men claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's Baby Squillionaire proliferates (don't men usually spend time and money to FIGHT paternity??), the Anna Nicole Smith gets curiouser and curiouser.

Among alll the theories swirling around the possible cause of her death, we now learn that ANS was in a seriously weakened state following two surgeries (after the birth of her 5 month old squillionaire baby) and taking a cocktail of painkillers.

She apparently had surgery for breast augmentation and another for 'repair' (repair? do breasts break?). Breast augmentation? Surely there is another word for the augmentation of an already surreal augmentation? Why would one augment the Matterhorn??

It certainly explains why she would be in a weakened state. The poor woman couldn't sit, let alone stand. And those pics of her in bed and the Bahamian Immigration Minister? Innocent of course. He had to hug her in bed because she couldn't get up.

But back to this augmentation stuff. We are getting a bit confused about terminology here. When Condi Rice was quizzed by Senators about Dubbya's Iraq Surge Strategy she strongly denied that this was an escalation - 'NO', she said. 'It's an augmentation'.

Hmm. Does that mean that the military being sent over are all to undergo breast augmentation? or have had the necessary equipment already installed?

So many questions and so few answers. Of course we would be in a better position to answer those questions if the media were doing a more responsible job of covering this important story.

But no. Just as we are starting to get to the bottom of the Methadone in the Fridge (we are restocking our own fridge now just in case we die suddenly and people take pics of our frindge contents), the media insist on breaking away to long 30 second blips on North Korea, Iran, Iraq and or the Scooter Libby trial. Outrageous. How are we ever going to the bottom of this?

So while aspiring father's to the squillionaire baby proliferate - threatening to be as numerous as the number of lawyers hovering around this case- TT is left to investigate our theories in a virtual information vacuum.

Right now we can say we believe ANS was murdered. And, while there are arguable a host of suspects, we believe a certain deranged diapered astronaut (D.D.A)had the strongest motive. Only the weirdness of the ANS spectacle could have knocked the DDA off the airwaves ....

Think about it.................... 

DESPERATELY SEEKING DADDY !!!

It just gets weirder!!

TT has it on excellent authority that Albert Einstein (well, his cryogenicaly frozen sperm) is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

Relatives of Einstein plan to hold a press conference today, joining the growing list of men who claim to be the baby's father. (Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband??? can it get much stranger? Zsa Zsa is alive?).

Einstein relatives plan to display the above photo of the baby, taken only days ago in the Bahama's.

Additionally, legal representatives for the Einstein family plan to provide proof that Anna Nicole visited the sperm bank where Einstein's regenerative material is stored - 9 months and 1 day before Baby Einstein was born.

So, and already complicated situation becomes even more complicated.

As for TT, we are a bit annoyed. We had barely scratched the surface of the Lunar Lust Triangle when all this happened - we HATE multi-tasking!

LUNAR LUST LURKS

TT admits it - we are thrilled!!

It has been too long without a good juicy scandal to occupy us. Oh sure, there have been some promising moents but then the protagonists all lept in to rehab - even the guy who made homophobic slurs against a fellow actor has gone into rehab - whatever gay rehab is!

But now we have a woman astronaut driving 900 miles to confront (complete with knife, mallet, garbage bags and mace) her love rival in a dark parking lot.

We know some are appalled by our purient interest in such things but we think of it as a learning experience - we never learned that astronauts wore diapers during take-off and re-entry from the Discovery Channel.

But thanks to our lady astronauts fall from orbit - now we know! Thank goodness we have something else to occupy us other that the Dubbya/Iraq Follies.